I’m always in a bad mood when I get home from work because the stupid interns who can’t even alphabetize correctly
if your boyfriend pauses call of duty to text you back, dump him because he plays shitty games
— My English professor (via theatermadnessanddietcoke)
Kitten and her first laptop
Plot twist: a movie with a 20-something character who has never kissed anyone and has never had sex but is presented as a perfectly normal, socially well-adjusted individual
I just made ranch dressing and I have no idea why.
I think my friend thinks I’m being difficult but I seriously can’t take a Monday off of work during tax season.